hum

My advice would be do less talking and more fighting. They should be looking to be first to the punch. Just walk up and give them a slap on the chops when they’re not expecting it. Then maybe work to the body, get some upper cuts in. You need to use speed in the confined space of a crowded parliament building.

Joe Calzaghe

Neither pleasant words nor a pretty face can make beautiful a person who is jealous, selfish, or deceitful. Only those who have uprooted such impurities from the mind are fit to be called beautiful.

262-263

The people must insist on their sovereign nation issuing its own debt free currency.

jwages

The size of the problem was illustrated to me recently in conversation with a gentle lawyer from Rome. Conversation had turned, as it does with monotonous regularity, to Berlusconi, and the lawyer confided that he felt assassination was the only way the country would ever liberate itself of the man. He’s normally such a pacifist that I assumed he was joking, but he was serious. He couldn’t see any other way in which the country could get rid of its prime minister. Now I dislike Berlusconi as much as anyone, but I would far rather have him in power than have a return to the bloodshed of the “years of lead” in the 1970s. And yet when a law-abiding, middle-class, Catholic lawyer starts talking quite seriously about armed insurrection you know something is terribly wrong in the country, that it has reached a very dangerous political cul-de-sac.

Tobias Jones

I forget where, but I once read that the scrambled eggs should be cooked so slowly and gently that, for optimum results, a candle would be the ideal heat source.

Felicity Cloake

In 2009, our favourite C4 commissioning editor was using the word “Obama” as an adjective (”That’s so Obama” / “We’re looking for something a bit more Obama at the moment”). Earlier this year he was taking people to the park and forcing them to pitch their ideas before they reached the duck pond.

Now he’s back and his latest method of articulating himself involves talking dirty. He was heard saying in response to an edit put in front of him: “It’s good, but it’s not fucking me. At the moment it’s just flashing me a bit of pube. I want it to bend me over and fuck me.”

FYI We hear there’s an even more eccentric chap at the BBC. That can’t be true, can it? Email stories to hello@popbitch.com

I’m a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

J. D. Salinger